I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
