apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
