margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
