What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Randomize