dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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