An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
