I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He felt like a one man threesome
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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