I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize