My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Who wears a wallet chain?!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
