We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
