My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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