at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The ass gains better be worth it
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