theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
