he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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