how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
