Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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