her vagine was all disorganized.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize