Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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