i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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