Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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