im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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