i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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