So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
