we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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