hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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