I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
