My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
