sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
