The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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