That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
