nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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