Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
