This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
