I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
