I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
