How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
