So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
