So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize