yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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