Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
