Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
