I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
