I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
