I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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