I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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