we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
