I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize