Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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