like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
