This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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