So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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