I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
