Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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