Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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