hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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