NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
