If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
