What did I eat last night that was bloody?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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