we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
