love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
